I Saw a Vision of My Fear

a short poem

coordinates: still in Eugene, Oregon

My mama got discharged from the hospital today after a week of tumult. I’ll perhaps write soon about what it was like to sign the hospice consent forms so that she could have her comfort prioritized over yet more poking and prodding. For now, a poem from pre-pandemia about looking into the eyes of my fear.

watercolor by the author

I saw a vision of my fear –
an 800–eyed beast,
just a mass
of eyes.

800 sets of eyelashes blinking
silent,
waiting for me to make
a mistake.

I painted him,
or at least the 293 eyes
that would fit
on this page.